"Am I Good Enough?"
As you've probably figured out by now, my name is Scott. I am a humble artist residing in Vancouver, British Columbia. I also don't know how to blog very well so bare with me.
This is my ambitious attempt to appeal to an industry I admire, an industry involving video games, vfx and film. This might come off as a cry for attention or begging for work; like a grumpy child wanting to have his cake and eat it too. But my main reason for writing this is to ask what many other artists dwell on far too often; "Am I good enough?".
Regardless of the answer, I'm aware of my creative capabilities and temporary limits. There might not be that much to show at this point, but there are worlds I have yet to create. I have techniques and skill levels that I have yet to reach. What I don't have is 5+ years experience and I haven't worked on AAA titles. To add insult to injury, I'm almost 10 years out of art school and still haven't earned my dream job. Part of it probably because I dragged my feet and didn't believe in myself. But rather than giving up, time has only fuelled my pursuit to make a living doing what I love.
What I love is creating characters. To bring someone or something into existence with a story to tell and a personality to convey. I love this so much that I will keep doing this regardless of whether or not it will become a career. But if I am able to fiancially support myself by using these skill sets, then I'll feel like I've achieved something special.
Despite my optimism, there was still a long period of time where I didn't think I was good enough. My lack of confidence in my artwork continiously stunted my drive and motivation. I was my own toughest critic and often talked myself out of things before they had a chance to flourish. I've struggled with self doubt and how good I might be as an artist, as most artists do. But as I've grown my passion has become more confident, more willing and more capable of taking on challenges. It reached a tipping point to where I dedicated myself to making a new portfolio. A portfolio to not only silence my self doubt, but hopefully have one last shot to earn the job I've always wanted. I realize it can be difficult to get what I want without having more experience or working my way up within a company. But regardless of my chances and how slim they might be, I was determined to see it through. I wanted to test my limits and see how much I love this line of work. Now all that's left is to present the finished product and humbly ask "Am I good enough?".
If not then I'll keep going. If there's anything I want out of typing up this drivel it's to get feedback and comments from people in the field. Should it turn out that my work isn't good enough to land a role in character design/modeling, I want to know why. I want to know what else needs to be learned. That way I can regroup, get back to work and try again.
If I am good enough, I look forward to proving how much of an asset I can be. The hours will be long, the jobs will be tough and the work will be demanding. The pressure will be high, I'll be expected to push outside my comfort zone and stress my limits. There will be doubts and I'll probably question myself. But I can't think of anything else I'm more passionate about.
Regardless of the outcome, I'd like to thank you for taking the time to read this excessive, over the top rant. If you read through all this and spent a bit of time viewing some of my work I really do appreciate it. I like to think my efforts will pay off, and if that's the case I cannot wait to show the industry what I'm capable of.